On Mountain Trails: Paul's Journal: Happy holidays and 2015 as seen from the summit

December, 2015

I woke up this morning to a foggy Winter Solstice here in the Ozarks. My suburban ranch-style house is nestled among trees in an early 1960’s housing development in South Springfield. The development, “Parkcrest,” supplanted what was once known as the Kickapoo Prairie in Springfield’s early history, named after the Kickapoo tribe of the Ohio Valley that lived here for a few decades before being forced further west. The neighborhood is quiet, “nice,” tidy, and tree-lined, the houses mainly populated by middle-aged to elderly law-abiding folks who have resided here for several decades. South Springfield has grown up all around the neighborhood, and now a raucous hodgepodge of fast food, gas stations, retail stores, traffic lights, and such line the nearby six lanes of a major boulevard, capped off by a stunningly congested freeway interchange. I feel fortunate that 835 W. Maplewood is far enough removed that there is no evidence of the neon, noise, and noxious presence that restlessly coils and slithers about like the copperheads and rattlers that once thrived here on the prairie. And so, in this morning’s fog, I felt somewhat concealed in a countryside setting, the mystery and tranquility disturbed only by a few bird voices.

The Time of Little Light has settled in once again for its winter sojourn. I am savoring this season, with its interior and introverted qualities and I find moments for reflecting on the year that 2015 has been for me. Blessings and graces have visited often, some passing through fleetingly while others linger like a friend who’s arrived for long conversations over coffee. Always they leave some remarkable essence with me, while simultaneously I allow them to carry off more of my disordered, banged up, and burdensome baggage. A good exchange, I believe. Who have these visitors been? First and foremost is sobriety: two and a half years of living without the curtain of alcohol clouding my awareness. Then come the treasures that any and all humans would want in their lives: good health, valued friends, meaningful work, a sense of purpose, and connections made through service to others. All of these rest on the foundational gifts of food, shelter, and financial resources. As the Psalmist penned, “surely my cup runneth over.”

The year began as I flew back home from Ottawa, where I had enjoyed the holidays with Andrew.

National Military Cemetery, Ottawa

Then, a couple of days later, I went back to work at the Fair Grove Branch Library, a lovely little reincarnation of Mayberry, USA. My responsibilities were: showing up, checking out and in materials, helping the public, and getting books and DVDs back on the shelves in proper order. No sweat or stress, much vitality and visiting with the local folk. Fair Grove is a sleepy little town north of Springfield, where the library is housed on one side of the new City Hall building, which also shares space with the Police Department. Conjure up some scenes from episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, add colorful characters, a baby goat, fresh farm eggs deliveries to staff, and courtroom scenes with prisoners in shackles, and there you have it. A succulent slice of life from the past (as I live and breathe!), while the rest of the world seems wrapped up in terrorism, political and religious strife, and widening financial and power gaps between the ultra-wealthy and the 99%.

In late January, I drove to Casper, Wyoming to see my college friend Kaye, and then down to Boulder, Colorado, to play chef and chauffeur for my nephew Mike, who was recuperating from surgery. We had a great time, and I loved being at the edge of the mountains.

In February a local election campaign effort began, with the goal of repealing Springfield’s city ordinance banning discrimination in employment and housing based on sexual orientation. I got involved with the group working to preserve the ordinance, and did a lot of phone calling and door knocking with a local organization. Springfield is sometimes described as the buckle on the Bible belt with a church on every corner, and so it should not have been a surprise to me to witness the flow of prejudice, hellfire, damnation, and pulpit pounding that erupted. Hate and division became prevalent and Springfield made national news, including Time Magazine, when the ordinance was repealed by a close margin in early April. I wrestled with this and felt anger, resentment, and even vindictiveness, but with the help of my program and fellowship of living with sobriety I moved right through this to the other side and came to finally and completely (after too many years) let go of my prejudice and resentment of the small minded fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity so prevalent in the area. I have learned the hard lesson that nothing is more important than my sobriety.

A week later, I flew to Ottawa to see Andrew for a week, happy to get out of Springfield. Canada has offered, since 1996, legal protection for all residents against discrimination based on sexual orientation. Section 2 of the Canadian Human Rights Act states that gay and lesbian Canadians are entitled to "an opportunity equal with other individuals to make for themselves the lives they are able and wish to have..." What a concept, eh?

I resigned my part-time job at Fair Grove in mid-June with a mixture of sadness and relief. I loved my work there… and yet I found myself stretched too thin between the job and the hours I was putting in online for Brodart, where my responsibilities were growing. I’ve worked remotely for Brodart Collection Development since 2008. They have been--and continue to be--a great company to work for, and I'm grateful they compensate me appropriately for my Master’s in Librarianship and extensive library experience. I provide customized selection of materials for various library customers across the country, both ongoing monthly order lists and what we in “the trade” call Opening Day Collections for new branches.

My friends Mike and Camille from western Montana stopped by in late May, Andrew came for a three week visit in July, the Perseid Meteor Shower made its annual visit in mid-August (I woke at 3:00 a.m. to get a spectacular view of them, my first sighting in many years!), and I flew to Maine to see Deborah and Michael Cyr for a week later that month. The day I returned home, Andrew flew in again from Ottawa for two weeks.

At the end of September I flew to San Francisco for a long weekend, then rented a car and drove to Redding, CA to see my brother and his wife for a week. The last Sunday in October I set out for Ottawa, to help Andrew move back here. In seven days I drove 2700 miles, helped Andrew pack his car and mine, stopped to see friends in northern New York, stayed overnight with my cousins Phil and Dorothy in Ohio, and wearily arrived home vowing never to do this kind of fast road trip again! But, the fatigue of the road is long gone and happy memories are still with me.

I was in the hospital two days earlier this month for a little surgical tune-up. As expected, the recovery has been speedy and relatively free of discomfort. I’m grateful for Medicare and I wish all Americans could enjoy decent, affordable health care. Canada long ago solved this issue (and as a Canadian resident I benefitted from its sensible health care), as have almost all other first-world countries.

My big project at home this year has been to continue with a major landscaping renovation of the front yard as well as create foundation beds on the east and west sides of the house. It’s been slow going, because that’s the only speed at which I can work outdoors during the heat and humidity, but the results are showing—with more to come in the next year. The soil here is heavy, compacted clay and so without waving a magic wand and hiring landscape pros with machinery, I have been slowly working at amending the soil and turning over beds, creating new ones, and transforming hard-packed lawn into well-aerated beds for perennials and annuals. I’m always on the lookout for wood chips from tree-trimming crews, as well as lawn clippings and shredded leaves from lawn service guys. The compost barrel "runneth over" with leaves, kitchen scraps, soil, and big sacks of coffee grounds from the nearby Starbucks store.

Andrew temporarily moved to Ottawa in July of 2014 to finish his Masters of Social Work at Carleton University, which he began when we lived there from 2006 to 2008. He’s back home now and almost finished with the program. He will be doing an unpaid field placement here beginning in January with Mercy Hospice, which will be the final requirement for graduation and awarding of the degree. He will also be teaching an Introduction to Sociology class at Missouri State University this coming semester, with additional classes in summer session and beyond. Soon, he will be able to add MSW along with M.A., Ph.D., and Diploma of Analytical Psychology to his list of degrees! Andrew is a member of the Ontario Association of Jungian Analysts and currently practices with clients. His website gives more insight into the Jungian process of analytical psychology.

Over the past several months I have been cultivating my new venture as a proofreader and copy editor, targeting college and graduate students. I’m scheduled to assist an Ed.D. student with preparing his thesis next summer, and have had a variety of clients this year. My website is up, and word of mouth referrals are welcome.

I hope this has been a happy holiday season for you! I’m sending you wishes for a stimulating, satisfying, enjoyable, and rewarding 2016--and I hope our paths cross.