On Mountain Trails: Paul's Journal: January 2011

It’s an early Monday morning in mid-January and the new year stretches before me. It extends so far that I cannot see what lies ahead on the path. I know that it is early in the day, early in the year, and that the best is yet to come. The days are growing longer. Plant roots are stirring in the ground, wombs in the wild are gestating new life, and maple sugar time is soon here. Right now, outdoors, there is darkness, while here at my desk the fingers find the keyboard both through muscle memory and the dim light from a gooseneck halogen nearby. Whiteness laid down by several days’ snowfall blankets the ground, while 14^o air holds everything in a state of stillness. The forecast for the week ahead is a seesaw of extremes that will transform H²0 from one state to another and back again, and tonight my old friend freezing rain is scheduled to debut and then return for an encore come morning.

I wake up these mornings and move with a quickness that the body hasn’t known for many months. Some mornings the alarm goes off, and others I slowly surface from dreams or deep solitude to wonder where and who I am. In a minute, maybe five, I am awake and realize what lies ahead. And I rise to begin. And throughout each day I think of things I must take on my journey and things to leave behind, stuff I will want and business to be wrapped up here. It is just a week and a day… and then… to use an expression I’m fond of, I’m gonna make like horseshit and hit the road. The road to where? Some have called it perdition, others purgatory, but I call it the cauldron of creation, where one can witness the processes of becoming and transforming: Yellowstone. I leave here the 25^th, and my plans are to arrive at Mammoth Hot Springs, just south of Gardiner, MT, on the afternoon of the 29^th. Weather across the central plains and Rockies may change my route, but I have confidence I will arrive.

I am taking a volunteer position at the Yellowstone National Park Heritage and Research Center and will be given housing in an NPS dorm south of Mammoth, near the YACC camp. For a month, I will work four days a week with the library and archives staff on whatever project(s) they have ready for me. Take a look at the great facility:

http://www.nps.gov/yell/historyculture/collections.htm

http://www.yellowstone-notebook.com/heritagecenter.html

The other three days of each week will be filled with exploration via snowshoes, cross-country skis, and well-insulated boots. I’ve known for years that the opportunity exists in off-season for librarians or archivists and now… it is just around the bend for me. I return home the first of March.

And what will Andrew do? He is in the midst of semester at University of Pittsburgh, teaching four classes, as well as deeply involved with studies for his analyst training program through the Ontario Association of Jungian Analysts. And, he is working with clients http://workingwithdreams.com He has been very encouraging through my YNP application process that began last summer. The only issue that causes both of us concern for my absence is Talaat’s recent surgery and recovery. The day before Thanksgiving, he was diagnosed with cancer in his lower jaw. We decided to proceed with surgery, not for attachment to our cat but because the specialist vet assured us the tumor was a type that does not metastasize and that Talaat would learn how to eat on his own again. Last week, after losing confidence, we went to another specialist who has presented us with a different picture. Now we are in mid-stream without paddles and we can only trust that the currents will take Talaat safely to recovery and non-recurrence of tumors elsewhere. Our intention was to give him a good life without longstanding discomfort. Now, the waters are muddied and we can’t see the streambed. Our hope is for no hidden obstacles. The flow before us has curves, around which we cannot see. We wish our companion Talaat renewed enjoyment for life.

2011 stretches before my eyes with things known and unknown, the exhilaration of roller coaster rides as well as the boredom of watching paint dry.

§ I’ve applied for social security benefits and my first “check” will e-deposit soon.

§ My sister, Judy, is coming to stay with Andrew for two weeks while I’m gone.

§ After my return from YNP, I will continue working remotely for Brodart, part-time, selecting materials for customers. My boss there is very generous, to have allowed me this time off.

§ Rachel, whom I’ve known since she was six, is due to have her first child in early July.

§ Connie, her mother, is eagerly rehearsing for the role of grandmother. She has retired and works part-time as a counselor. She plans to visit us here in April.

§ Kaye, whom I’ve known since I was eighteen, has just retired, is doing special-needs case management part-time, and is loving her new life

§ Andrew has applied for teaching positions at two colleges in the Rochester, NY area and waits to hear for an invitation to interview.

§ Andrew and I are ready to leave Greensburg and hope to put the house on the market when spring arrives. We love our neighbors and neighborhood, but it isn’t enough to keep us here.

I considered the resolutions most of us do at the New Year—lose weight, get rid of clutter, etc., but beneath that, deep inside there is an urgent sense reflected in the title of Pema Chodron’s recent book: No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva. “Make today count,” I hear whispered into my ear again and again. And then I remember: Practice like your hair is on fire, an aphorism from early Buddhist teachings. Focus, clarity, remembrance, aspiration, joyous effort.

It’s a new year I’m traveling through and I trust that the journey has meaning and can help alleviate the suffering of the world. If nothing else, my aspiration is to do no harm. Stay tuned, stay in touch, and know that you are important to me. May 2011 bring you and those you love much health, creative engagement, and an ever-expanding heart of joy.

Happy Trails—May Our Paths Cross This Year

Better to join in with humanity than to set ourselves apart. Aspiring bodhisattvas train by getting more involved, rather than more detached. In paintings of the six realms, there’s a Buddha standing in each realm, not just in a little bubble or looking down from above, but right in the middles of hell and the other realms.

--Pema Chödrön, No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva

Gardener, Writer, Photographer "As he peered into the great land that stretched before him, the way seemed long. But the sky was bright, and he somehow felt he was headed in the right direction." --E.B. White, STUART LITTLE

On Mountain Trails: Paul's Journal

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Is the end near?

Just Traveling Through

2011 and A New Adventure